Another fun gimmick last night with the old group. Bad vibes everywhere (wink*wink)! Got home at 5am. We'll be seeing each other again tonight, rest day for everyone this weekend because Allan's off to Bora with his family. Monday is Nina's birthday, then gimmick again with the gang from Tuesday to Thursday. Allan leaves for Houston on August 22. I swear, I'm too old for this.

He found the love of his life.

So many realizations went through my mind. I just hope that he understood -- that everything is forgiven. He will always have a special place in my heart. After this, I haven't got a clue what's going to happen next. That's why I was so scared last night. Hearing all those things. I really, really pray that he understood -- then and now. I will always look back on those days (and this day) and think fondly of him. He taught me a lot. He made me feel special and loved - in a way that no person has made me feel. And I will always be thankful for that. And I will always remember the girl that I was with him.

So I guess, by writing all these thoughts down, I have reached a decision. Life is good. I thank God for you, for our friends, for your love and friendship. I hope we find a way to be really and truly happy. I hope we both find what we are looking for.

No regrets. Happiness always.

"Hey, I'm so sorry
that it didn't work the way
that we'd always planned
Hey, I'm so sorry
that you went away
and somehow didn't understand

We pretended for so many years, but now
its time to wash away my tears

And it's all behind us now
Cause we've learned to live somehow without each other
And its easy to see, it ain't never
gonna be the same again..."

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