The last quarter of the year is the busiest time of the year! Oh, I miss hanging out with my friends. I miss sleepovers! I miss out of town trips! I miss dvd marathons! I'm missing out on Grey's Anatomy and Heroes! My life now is consumed by work, work, work! Visit from foreign principals, dinners, outlet checks....aaarrghh. It's beginning to NOT feel like Christmas =(
BUT...all these activities keep my mind off missing my lovey so I guess, it's all good. I can't wait for Christmas! I can't wait to watch Elf with Sar. *sigh*
*sigh*
You dream of colours that have never been made.
You imagine songs that have never been played.
They will try to buy you and your mind.
For only the curious have something to find.
It's foreign on this side.
And the truth is a better friend.
Reasons, few have I,
Go back again.
You imagine songs that have never been played.
They will try to buy you and your mind.
For only the curious have something to find.
It's foreign on this side.
And the truth is a better friend.
Reasons, few have I,
Go back again.
imminence
Sometimes we plan so much that we end up with nothing at all. When I get excited about something, I can't help but shout out to the world the big news. But now I'm in for some big time embarassment. Oh, why don't I know how to shut up? I just couldn't wait. Now I have to start explaining my story to my friends. Aaaarrgggh.
I take it back. There's no hope!
I take it back. There's no hope!
my life song now...*sigh*
Thought I knew my mind
Like the back of my hand
The gold and the rainbow
But nothing panned out as I planned
And they say only milk and honeys
Gonna make your soul satisfied
Well I better learn how to swim
Cause the crossing is chilly and wide
Twisted guardrails on the highway
Broken glass on the cement
A ghost of someone's tragedy
How recklessly my time has been spent
They say that it's never too late
But you don't, you don't get any younger
Well I better learn how to starve the emptiness
And feed the hunger
Up on the watershed
Standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load
You'll never fly as the crow flies
Get used to a country mile
When you're learning to face
The path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while
And there's always retrospect
(when you're looking back)
To light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh
You start at the top
Go full circle round
Catch a breeze
Take a spill
But ending up where I started again
Makes me wanna stand still
Stepping on a crack
Breaking up and looking back
Til every tree limb overhead just seems to sit and wait
Til every step you take becomes a twist of fate
When you're learning to face
The path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while...
Like the back of my hand
The gold and the rainbow
But nothing panned out as I planned
And they say only milk and honeys
Gonna make your soul satisfied
Well I better learn how to swim
Cause the crossing is chilly and wide
Twisted guardrails on the highway
Broken glass on the cement
A ghost of someone's tragedy
How recklessly my time has been spent
They say that it's never too late
But you don't, you don't get any younger
Well I better learn how to starve the emptiness
And feed the hunger
Up on the watershed
Standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load
You'll never fly as the crow flies
Get used to a country mile
When you're learning to face
The path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while
And there's always retrospect
(when you're looking back)
To light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh
You start at the top
Go full circle round
Catch a breeze
Take a spill
But ending up where I started again
Makes me wanna stand still
Stepping on a crack
Breaking up and looking back
Til every tree limb overhead just seems to sit and wait
Til every step you take becomes a twist of fate
When you're learning to face
The path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while...
thinking, thinking, thinking
My boyfriend would always tell me that I love to analyze everything. I think there is some truth to that statement. Here I am, thinking about soooo many things again. Analyzing every situation - past, present, future - I just can't seem to stop.
I have been praying the past weeks for discernment about decisions that I need to make. I am happy but there are times when I just feel helpless and sad. So many things going through my mind. Can I make it? Is it worth it? I realize once again that it is so damn hard being an adult, and a responsible one, at that. Why do I carry the responsibility of deciding about what I want to happen in my life? Sometimes, I long for the days of my childhood, when all I have to do is look at my mom and she makes the decisions. Then all I have to do is follow and trust that what has been decided will work out. Or sometimes, I long for my college years, back when all I had to worry about were class schedules, teachers, orgs, and the student council. But I don't have the power to turn back time. Oh, how I wish....
But am I complaining? I don't know. I have so many good things going on in my life. Good education, good friends, good (crazy) family, good job, and finally, a good man who I know will take care of me. Oh, I don't know. I just feel tired and burdened and I feel pressured. I just want to sleep and wake up five years later. I just want to hide away.
So, dear friends, please pray for me that I make good decisions in my life. Decisions that God would approve of. I'm just blessed that I have my Pangga who's always supporting me, taking care of me, making me laugh, and showing me everyday, every minute, that I am special. Oh, thank you Lord!
Hmmm....there is hope.
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